I was recently practically moved to tears while watching a "Jack in the Box" commercial that stated this very fact. I mean, look how happy this couple is frying up their slices of heaven. And what amazing fun it would be to wear a bacon bra and drink a Diet Coke with bacon (cuz you need the "diet" part).
The subject alone inspires me to be the best Jew I can be.
I think I could smell the sacreligious aroma of bacon while I was still in the womb, hence the 10 minutes of labor my mother went through during her delivery of me... If only they had made babyfood with bacon in it then....
Bacon, these days, seems sooooooooo last year... it really was the "it" food for quite some time.... even during times of health nuttiness and Dr. Oz. everywhere you looked, there was bacon.
Consider these words written by some lady named Sarah for Salon magazine:
"eating bacon in the modern, health-conscious world is an act of rebellion: Loving bacon is like shoving a middle finger in the face of all that is healthy and holy while an unfiltered cigarette smolders between your lips."
Ohhhh how she makes it sound so Punk Rock to eat bacon!
Now... while the USDA says that bacon is the cured belly of swine, there are, as we know many forms that bacon may take to please all races, creeds, and religions. I am not talking about "Baconnaise", the bacon flavored mayonnaise that is for people too lazy to make bacon. It is, after all, all the fat and flavor you want from bacon, without the crunch. What I am talking about is the unsanctified, blasphemous act of curing lambs bellies (whatever there is of it) and that repulsive pressed and dyed product they call "turkey" bacon (which wins the prize for the most cardboard-like taste and texture of anything I have ever put past my lips). These horrifying food-stuffs are for the Jews, the Muslims, The Non-Omnivors.
And, you know that Bac-os are made of TVP? ......ahhhh......Vegans.....
For shits and giggles, I want you to check out this video proving just how powerful bacon can be to people young and old....
And look how inspiring bacon can be! Check out this Japanese Bacon Anime .
YES... I said bacon ANIME!
I could hardly believe it myself.
2 comments:
I didn't eat dinner tonight and suddenly you have me thinking about a prosciutto, pesto, and mozzarella sandwich... bad bad bad bad bad!!!
if only i could have enticed you to actually make that sandwich... then it would have been even badder!
Post a Comment