Lesson #5: Don't Be Wiener!

Did you know that in the world of food science, that a hot dog is exactly like mayonnaise?  An emulsion of Fat and Water... with the help, in this case, of the protein that comes from lord only knows what part of the animal they are made from.  
Sound scary?  it is.


When I was in culinary school, I had the opportunity to make hot dogs and it was one of the most interesting processes of cooking I have almost ever done.  Whipping meat with ice very carefully until it reached a mousse-like  consistency, and then stuffing into the intestines of a pig.  Yum.


But what was most interesting (and repulsive) was  what happened to one of the batches of hot dogs when we cooked them in the hot smoker.  


Have you ever tried to make a vinaigrette and have the oil and the vinegar stay separate no matter how much you whisk it?  Mayonnaise is made in the same way, slowly adding oil to lemon juice, but it has the addition of an egg yolk.  The yolk has two properties that help the mayonnaise stay together... one is protien, strands and strands of proteins that wind up and entangle themselves capturing little droplets of oil and water within them, in effect, suspending them.  The other little secret is something called Lecithin, which acts as an emulsifier, helping the oil and water stay together.... think of it like a marriage counselor.
the truth is that opposites do attract... with a little help.


Well, this particular batch of hot dogs that repulsed me so was not a match made in heaven.  there are somethings that cause emulsions to separate.  Like time, temperature, adding too much fat, or adding fat too quickly.  I suppose that in this case, the temperature was the culperate and when the heat hit these wieners, the protein, fat, and water ran their separate directions and what was left inside those intestines looked regurgitated.  A dripping mess of fat and curdled meat that hung inside the knotted innards like, well,  use your imagination. 


When I was growing up an 86th street on the Upper east Side of Manhattan, there was, and still is, a hot dog stand named Papaya King.  It's claim to fame was that it's hot dogs were "Better Than Fillet Mignon".  And, seriously, they  really truly are.... for a processed meat food product, that happens to be all beef.


Besides the Dog itself, which was grilled on a tin foil covered griddle, was the fact that they cost 99 cents and were served up by this old man with a hat that fit him like the oh-so-unfortunate Hot Dog On A Stick outfit you see in the malls, and an old black woman named Wanda who was not so nice, but very efficient.   
I went back there in September, many many years since my childhood days of dogs to see that both of them were stick slingin' dogs with kraut... allbeit ever so slightly slower than before.  


What reminded me of this New York Icon, was watching The Colbert Report the other day where there was a feature on a place called The Weiner Circle in Chicago.  They have a black lady too... and like Wanda, she ain't so nice..  she's downright mean... and raunchy.   Sounds just like my kind of place.


The Weiner circle is famous for hot dogs, hamburgers, and cheese fries.... and if that isn't enough to give you a heart attack, maybe , and, most importantly, the mutual verbal abuse between the employees and the customers is.  Here, for example, is a clip of said verbal abuse.  I'll take the juice, thank you.


Now, at papaya King, I had a ritual.... 2 hot dogs with sauerkraut (that had been stewing all day next to the griddling dogs) with a fresh squeezed, right before your eyes, orange juice (YES! I said Fresh Squeezed!) and two packets of ketchup.  My father always used to thing how vomitous putting ketchup instead of deli mustard was on my hot dog, but he wasn't eating it... he was just buying.   from all the fruity concoctions that you could have at Papaya King to drink (how they put two and two together and knew that selling pina coladas and papaya juice with hot dogs would be a hit makes absolutely no sense to me since I'm sure Frankfurter himself would roll around in his grave just by the thought of it.


Interestingly, there are some rules to dining at the Weiner Circle two of which include no ketchup on your dogs and not to be faint of heart since the cashiers will say worse things than you could ever force past your lips in public.  I'd be curious to challenge them on both accounts.